Wednesday Wraparound: United Airlines, Spicer and the nazis, that horny Alabama governor, and Trump’s “agenda”

Where else you gonna get the truth except here?

We’re all talking about it, the United Airlines incident in which the Chinese-American doctor was bloodied by private security guards (not cops, as some allege), and while I loathe United Airlines, I do wonder this: There’s something in our national psyche that loves it when big corporations get egg on their face. Now it’s United’s turn, but not that long ago it was Wells Fargo’s, or Exxon’s, or Enron’s…you get the idea. Each was caught doing something really bad or stupid.

Why do we take such delight when the mighty fall? Is it schadenfreude? I think it’s more than that. It testifies to some deep vein of mistrust towards corporations most Americans have, on both the Republican and Democratic side, which is sad, since corporations (so the Supreme Court says) are us. We’re so used to them trying to rip us off, to bamboozle us, to fool us through B.S. advertising, or by withholding important information, or making it almost impossible to find in “disclosure” statements. Sometimes it seems like the only reason corporations exist, besides making money, is to screw the little guy. I’m sure that most corporate bosses–who are the real elitists, not us coastal liberals, as Republican allege–would disagree, but that is the feeling these CEOs have perpetuated. All the more reason for them to be very, very careful what they do. Because if they do something evil, we will find out. And they will suffer.

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And now we’re on to the latest episode of The Spicey Show, this ridiculously incompetent, crooked propagandist’s idiotic statement that Zyklon B gas (not to mention the auto exhaust fumes with which Germans killed hundreds of thousands of partisans on the Eastern front) was not a chemical. True, within hours, Spicey “corrected” his statement to say that he meant the Germans had not dropped chemicals from bombs in the air on their own people. Well, true dat; but really? That’s his excuse? Much as I love Spicey for being the embarrassing face of the imbecility of this regime, his expiration date is long past. I don’t think there’s a chance in hell Trump can possibly rehabilitate himself in the eyes of most Americans—not after all the crap he’s said and done. But keeping Spicey on as his chief spokesman is just making things worse for him. On the other hand, who the heck would take the job? Ron Ziegler’s dead.

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We come now to the latest Republican sexual freak who was caught lying and had to resign. Of course, I’m talking about Alabama governor Robert Bentley, who joins a long list of Republican worthies, including evangelical preachers, Senators, Governors, Congressmen and other high officials, who ran on “family values” platforms, but who were later found to have the values of a dog in heat. (And curiously, the Wall Street Journal didn’t even report on Bentley! But then, that’s the same company, Rupert Murdoch’s company, that let Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly get away with sexual harassment for years.) This is not to excuse Democrats who have done the same sort of thing. But there’s one big difference: Democrats don’t run on “family values.” Democrats have too much respect for people’s intelligence; most people know that “family values” is a lie that Republicans make, in order to pander to that basket of deplorables—the essence of the Republican Party—so many of whom are adulterers, wife beaters, divorcees, who sire children out of wedlock, who fly the flag and have crêches in their yards at Christmas, who denounce and occasionally beat on gay and trans people, who hated on Obama because he was Black, who hire cheap Mexican labor and then demand their extradition. Quite a tasty little slice of the electorate, no? But that’s the crowd the Georgia governor crawled into bed with. Now he, too, he been busted as just another sleazy Republican “family values” con artist.

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Finally, from yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, page A4: “President Donald Trump has told his senior advisors to prioritize his agenda over infighting as the White House focuses on what accomplishments it can tout during the president’s first 100 days in office.”

Senior advisors: “What agenda is that, Mr. President?”

Trump: “I don’t know. You figure it out.”

Senior advisors: “We can’t figure it out without you telling us, Mr. President. That’s why we’re fighting each other.”

Trump: “You know. The Wall. The Muslim ban. Obama’s wiretaps. Healthcare. Taxes. Hillary. Whatever.”

Senior advisors: “We can’t tout any of those, Mr. President, either because they’ve been failures, or lies, or because you haven’t told us what you want.”

Trump: “Ask Jared. I’m going to Mar-a-Lago to play golf.”